S.B

Just Before the Weekly Bridge Game Mr. and Mrs. Jones were an average middle-aged couple who got along well enough as long as Mr. Jones didn't put his foot in his mouth.

One day, she was running late for the weekly bridge game with her friends she was hosting, and just before she got into the shower, she gave her husband strict instructions to just let the ladies in without talking to them 'too much...'

When she finished having her shower and was finally done, she came downstairs all dressed up for the little party, but no one was there except her husband.

Mr. Jones looked somewhat bewildered, and he began to explain immediately, "Mrs. Smith said she had been having trouble with mice in her house, and Mrs. Brown said that she just stuffed steel wool in their little holes, so I asked her who held their little legs apart."

S.B

Alcohol Therapy

Apni Sharaab Kee Lat se pareshaan Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya. Santa: Doctor Sahab.... Meri Sharaab Chhudaao ! Doctor: Roz Kitni Peete Ho ? Santa: 4 Peg ! Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Kam Kar Do Aur 1 Hafte Ke Baad Mujhse Milo. 1 Hafte Baad.... Doctor: Abhi Kitni Pee Rahe Ho Roz ? Santa: Jitni Aapne Bataayi Thee... Sirf 3 Peg ! Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Aur Kam Kar Do Aur Agle Hafte Mujhe Phir Se Milo. Phir 1 Hafte Ke Baad... Doctor: Ab Kitne Peg Le Rahe Ho ? Santa: 2 Peg Sir ! Doctor: Good ! Ab Aaj Se Daily Sirf 1 Peg Lena Hai, Theek Hai? Santa: Par Doctor Sahab... 1 Peg Mein Poori Bottle... Peg Kuchh Jyada Tight Nahi Ho Jayega ???

Santa Banta

I found myself in a pub in Patiala and a group of American tourists came in.

One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Punjabis think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no-one here can drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels in 10 minutes."

The bar was silent, the American noticed Santa leaving, no-one took up the bet. 20 minutes later Santa who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is your bet still on?"

"Sure," said the American, "3 JD in 10 minutes for a bet of $5,000."

"Great...," replied Santa, "so pour the whisky and start the clock."

It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.

"OK Yank, pay up." said Santa.

"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?"

"Well sir," replied Santa, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it !

SANTA BANTATA

Banta complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.

"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee'."

"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."

Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did it help?"

"No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."

"How?"

"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"